Scrapbooking Layout

Warning: School Projects Ahead

January 21, 2011 is a day I will not soon forget.  It was on this day I was forced to confront memories of past emotional trauma that I’d managed to successfully repress for years. 

And I’m not the only one with such troubling memories.  YOU have them, too.  We all do, and they stem from the same root cause, a cause so intensely disturbing that the simple act of me naming it will send shivers up or down your spine, depending on your own personal spinal shiver direction preference.

That’s right, I’m talking about school projects.  I’ll give everyone a moment to compose themselves and call in sick to work.

I was reminded of these when I learned that my brother, who attends high school, was assigned to make a photo scrapbook of Douglas MacArthur, a project that will require significant effort because 1) MacArthur is dead, and 2) he did not have a Facebook page.

“It’s so retarded,” my brother observed, outraged that the study of an important military leader who played a vital role in preserving the free world should interfere with HIS military campaign in Call of Duty 4.

I tried to empathize, but it was difficult to hide my unbridled joy, the kind that only comes from NOT having to make a photo scrapbook of Douglas MacArthur.

However, my joy was re-bridled moments later when I recalled the time I was assigned to recreate the city of Troy for a school project, which I was definitely not happy about back then.

You may be familiar with the story of Troy, the city at the center of the fabled Trojan War that was, according to legend, ultimately sacked by an army of thousands led by Brad Pitt in 2004. 

No wait, that was the movie.  But the city was definitely sacked and, regardless of who did the actual sacking, no explanation for the destruction of Troy ever really addressed why the responsibility fell to ME to rebuild it, especially when I could instead learn about the dangers of space travel by playing Asteroids on my graphing calculator.

So it was much easier to empathize with my brother at this point because both of our assignments, though seemingly different, are actually quite similar since they each satisfy the two requirements for a valid school project, which state that all projects must:

1. Consume an entire weekend, with 90% of this time divided between denial, groans, rage, sighs, stomping, door-slamming, and trips to an artsy-fartsy store like Michaels, which you would otherwise never enter voluntarily, even if that were the sole ransom demand of your family’s kidnappers.

2. Cause so much family tension that dad will go outside and re-shingle the roof just to relax.

Now I know from experience that there are people out there who defied all convention and not only finished school projects EARLY, but actually ENJOYED school projects, spent EXTRA time on them, and – try not to gag here – TOOK PRIDE in their work.  These people each made SEVERAL photo scrapbooks of Douglas MacArthur.

So they have FOND memories of school projects, which they are tempted to defend as valuable experiences that can “broaden your horizons.”  If you are one of these people, I have some useful advice: if you value your life, keep quiet.  And I happen to be very sensitive about my horizons.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are keenly aware of and thankful for the fact that we’ve never had to use any of our school project skills or, more accurately, our parents’ school project skills, in our daily lives. 

For example, no one has ever been part of a conversation like this:

• Boss:   Get me the figures for the Bradley account.

• You:     No problem.

• Boss:   Oh, and I’ll need a diorama of the Battle of Gettysburg by Friday.

OK, so maybe I’ve oversimplified school projects a bit.  It’s probably very challenging to engage the minds of young people these days, with their Googles Tweeting all over their Facebooks. 

I’m just so emotional at the memory of my Troy project, which less resembled a city than the result of a 4-year-old controlling the speed on a loaded potter’s wheel, although I maintain that this appearance was for defensive purposes, since it would cause any potential invaders to think they were too late and forget all about Helen (oh my gosh, did I LEARN something?!).

Perhaps school projects have a place after all and I can withdraw the allegations of torture against my former teachers, who were just trying to creatively educate a less than receptive audience about important historical figures and places like MacArthur and Troy, which we can all agree sounds like the name of a Country Music duo.

Unfortunately this doesn’t make the projects any easier, but there are things you parents out there can do to prepare, depending on your specific parental role, that will make your children’s projects less stressful.

• Moms: Stock up on art supplies.

• Dads:  Buy shingles. 

About the Author

MyPhoria – Laugh about it.
http://myphoria.blogspot.com
Updated Thursdays.

CKC 2011 Scrapbook Convention Haul – Part 1

Hairdressers Modelling at Conventions $69.99 Hairdressers Modelling at Conventions – Photographic Print

Corey Dillon – Scrapbook ’04 $39.99 Corey Dillon – Scrapbook ’04 – Photo

Woodland Scrapbook I $17.99 Woodland Scrapbook I – Art Print

Woodland Scrapbook II $17.99 Woodland Scrapbook II – Art Print

Woodland Scrapbook III $17.99 Woodland Scrapbook III – Art Print

Woodland Scrapbook IV $17.99 Woodland Scrapbook IV – Art Print

Scrapbook Boutique $29.99 Turn your memories into something you can share with Scrapbook Boutique, the easiest and most affordable solution for creating impressive scrapbooks. Choose from customizable designs, including exclusive Simple Scrapbooks templates, or start from scratch to create something that is uniquely yours. Scrapbook Boutique features a variety of decorative backgrounds and designer embellishments, plus built-in photo editing and text editing tools ? everything you need to get started today! Whether you have been scrapbooking for years or are looking for new ways to share your digital photos, Scrapbook Boutique makes it fun and easy!

Travel Scrapbook IV $17.99 Linda Grayson Travel Scrapbook IV – Art Print

Carlos Beltran – Scrapbook ’05 $39.99 Carlos Beltran – Scrapbook ’05 – Framed Photographic Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor – Giclee Print

Scrapbook Shell I $9.99 Paul Brent Scrapbook Shell I – Art Print

Scrapbook Shell II $9.99 Paul Brent Scrapbook Shell II – Art Print

Scrapbook Aspen Leaf $5.99 Carol Robinson Scrapbook Aspen Leaf – Art Print

Scrapbook Oak Leaf $5.99 Carol Robinson Scrapbook Oak Leaf – Art Print

Scrapbook Maple Leaf $5.99 Carol Robinson Scrapbook Maple Leaf – Art Print

Travel Scrapbook V $17.99 Linda Grayson Travel Scrapbook V – Art Print

Travel Scrapbook I $17.99 Linda Grayson Travel Scrapbook I – Art Print

Travel Scrapbook II $17.99 Linda Grayson Travel Scrapbook II – Art Print

Travel Scrapbook III $17.99 Linda Grayson Travel Scrapbook III – Art Print

Scrapbook Studio $25.47 Subtitle: Everything You Need To Make A Fresh Funky Scrapbook In A Flash Publication Date: 2005/09/01 Binding Type: Hardcover Language: English Depth: 1.50 Width: 10.00 Height: 7.25

ClickArt Scrapbook $9.99 The easy way to add tons of clip art to your scrapbooking projects on any scrapbook or desktop publishing software. Add an exciting touch with a mixture of clip art, assorted decorative papers or your choice of embellishments. Perfect for scrapbooks, invitations, greeting cards and stationary. Your options are endless. From cutsie buttons to fancy frames, you’ll find everything you need to bring your scrapbooking projects flair.

Island Scrapbook: The Good and the Bad $49.99 Gerry Embleton Island Scrapbook: The Good and the Bad – Giclee Print

Baseball Scrapbook $6.99 The Baseball Scrapbook, with its more than 700 rare photographs and information-packed essays and captions, provides a unique evocation of baseball’s glorious past and present. The approach here is not the usual decade-by-decade review, but rather an exploration of the game’s sustaining themes: the magical appeal of legendary players and teams; the unmatched artistry and skill of those playing at the major league level; and the “interior stadium of the mind” which creates for fans of all ages the nostalgia-laden ballpark experience. It is a celebration of the powerful grip that America’s game has on its millions of fans, and an attempt to recreate baseball history as it lives in our memory and imagination.

Making Terrific Scrapbook Pages $4.99 Making Terrific Scrapbook Pages reflects the newest, latest and greatest developments in scrapbooking. Includes: 228 scrapbook pages; contest winners; 21 techniques; 36 ideas with vellum; 28 chalking designs.

Small Soldiers: The Movie Scrapbook $4.49 Find lots of behind-the-scenes information on the making of Small Soldiers in this 64-page scrapbook packed with photos and movie-making facts.

Making Marvelous Scrapbook Pages $2.99 Includes: 225 scrapbook page ideas; contest winners; 20 mini-classes; 50 ideas with vellum.

Ascender Scrapbook Font Pack $20 Download the Ascender Scrapbook Font Pack font for Mac or Windows in OpenType, TrueType or PostScript format.

It’s My Life Scrapbook Kit scrapbook kit $14.99 Make a scrapbook all about your life. Use the tools, tips and techniques included to creatively preserve your photographs and personal paraphernalia. Your scrapbook is sprial-bound with 24 pages and a picture frame cover. Pages are 8 3/4 in. x 8 3/4 in. You also get 10 sheets of patterned paper including embossed and diamond dust designs, over 50 vellum stickers, easy-to-use photo cropping stencil, scallop edged scissors, 2 tiny treasure envelopes, journal pen, photo safe glue stick, instruction/idea sheet, plus a free mini keychain scrapbook. All contents are acid free and photo safe.

Cat Scrapbook Kit $21.99 Create a scrapbook as unique as your cat. Add your own photographs, drawings, stories and creativity. Includes a fabric covered scrapbook, colorful papers, stickers, deckled edge scissors, glue stick, double sided tape, markers, and pages to fill in the blanks.

Pop-Up Scrapbook each $20.33 Grab some pictures and put your memories in motion This 14-page scrapbook features colorful paper, easy pop-ups, stickers, stencils, markers, rhinestones, scissors, a glue stick, and punch out embellishments. This hardcover scrapbook measures 9″ x 11 1/2″. For Ages 7+

Scrapbook Factory 3 Deluxe $16.49 Scrapbooking made easy: With the built-in digital photo editor, templates and graphics, Scrapbook Factory Deluxe 3.0 makes it easy to create scrapbook pages and keepsake projects for yourself or to share with your family and friends. Included templates and graphics: Choose from over 5,000 scrapbook templates and customizable projects, more than 40,000 graphics, over 1,000 fonts and inspirational quotations to create unique keepsakes. Extra features: Scrapbook Factory Deluxe includes photorealistic embellishments, pop-ups, die-cuts, shaker boxes, spinners, paper dolls, support for 12 x 12 paper and daily, weekly, monthly and annual calendars.

9×11 32pg scrapbook Pack of 36 $57.02 9×11 32pg scrapbook. Dimensions:. Length: 7. Height: 7. Width: 7

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, War with Spain $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, War with Spain – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Voyages of Discovery $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Voyages of Discovery – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, A Period of Change $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, A Period of Change – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, A Glorious Defeat $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, A Glorious Defeat – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Capturing Gibraltar $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Capturing Gibraltar – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, the Capture of Quebec $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, the Capture of Quebec – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Fighting the French $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Fighting the French – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Slaughter at Sluys $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Slaughter at Sluys – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Unequal Contest $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Unequal Contest – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, American Privateers $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, American Privateers – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, the Dutch in the Medway $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, the Dutch in the Medway – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Drake’s Voyages $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Drake’s Voyages – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor: Privateers and Pirates $34.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor: Privateers and Pirates – Giclee Print

Pink Fig Scrapbook Jeans & Sweatshirt Pattern $10.5 Pink Fig Scrapbook Jeans & Sweatshirt Pattern

Encore SCRAPBOOK BOUTIQUE DESKTOP PRINTING 21561 $35.69 Encore SCRAPBOOK BOUTIQUE DESKTOP PRINTING 21561

Memory Mixer Lite Digital Scrapbook Software $7 Memory Mixer Lite Digital Scrapbook Software

Cynthia Hart’s Scrapbook Workshop $8.99 A stylish, fully illustrated guide to preserving memories in beautiful, heirloom-quality albums, “Scrapbook Workshop” covers all the techniques and tricks of the trade, with over 30 projects that will inspire enthusiasts.

A Stewardship Scrapbook $20 “This remarkable book represents the very best of William Phillippe’s lifelong stewardship files: materials he has used in four decades of training, talks, and sermons about giving to the church. It includes biblical texts, sermons, sermon ideas, inspiring stories, quotations, and other miscellaneous suggestions and aids for ministers, lay leaders, and others interested in the many facets of stewardship.”

Scrapbook Fundamentals $29.33 A comprehensive introduction to scrapbooking furnishes essential information on the tools, materials, supplies, and other important aspects of the craft, taking novice crafters step by step through the pagemaking process and offering instruction in photo organization, page design, album creation, journaling, and more. Original. 14,000 first printing. Subtitle: Your Guide to Getting Started Publication Date: 2006/05/19 Number of Pages: 144 Binding Type: Paperback Language: English Depth: 0.50 Width: 8.50 Height: 11.00

Best Friends For Ever Scrapbook $5.99 Welcome to your scrapbook! This is a book for you, about you, and by you. That means there are no rules . . . except to have fun using it. Inside are blank pages to doodle and decorate, fill-in pages to write down your personal info and favorites, spaces to attach photos and keepsakes, activities, and much more! Plus, there are tons of stickers to help you personalize this scrapbook. You can also use them to decorate notebooks, letters, and even your shoes. . . . It’s up to you!

Scrapbook / Photo Album – 055 Paradise $2.99 Preserve your treasured photographs in this elegant scrapbook. High-quality acid-free white pages. Spiral-bound.

Scrapbook / Photo Album – 007 Sunflower $6.99 Preserve your treasured photographs in this elegant scrapbook. High-quality acid-free white pages. Spiral-bound.

Organizing Your Scrapbook Supplies $22.95 Want a better way to keep your scrapbook tools and supplies neat, tidy and easy-to-find? Take a look inside the studios of other crafters and discover hundreds of ideas and tips for organizing your personal workspace. Includes 50 layouts by the Masters using the tools and supplies featured in this book.

Northwest Video Scrapbook #7 $11.99 Northwest Video Scrapbook #7 is the seventh addition to the archives of whitewater kayaking based in the heart of the Pacific Northwest’s beautiful Columbia River Gorge and is the first to be introduced to the world’s paddling community. Northwest Video Scrapbook #7 features multi-day expeditions from Idaho to the High Sierras in California. You’ll also get a closer look at the coveted local gem, the Little White Salmon River in Washington during the Summer of 1993 verses 2008. And, as always expected from Mr. Scott and crew, the Columbia River Gorge seasonal update so you can see what you’ve been missing out west! This is a fantastic addition to any whitewater lover’s DVD collection

Elvis On Tour Photo Scrapbook $19.99 Twenty standard 8″ x 8″ scrapbook pages are ready to fill with your favorite Elvis memories. The cover features historic concert ticket images from Elvis’ numerous live performances and a 4″ x 6″ window to display your own cover photo.

All Boy Scrapbook Pages $2.99 From swapping fishing stories with Grandpa and trading baseball cards, to a first job and the first time he brings a girl home to dinner, the life of a son is full of marvel and mystery. With All Boy Scrapbook Pages, readers will be inspired to celebrate these events through scrapbook pages that capture the essence of boyhood. Featuring 150 fresh page ideas, creative techniques, photo and memento checklists and themed album ideas, this gallery of ideas is the first book of its kind dedicated solely to helping scrapbookers record the life of a boy as he grows into a man.

Scrapbook Knife Kit Scrapbook Knife Kit $18.19 Perfect set for anyone interested in scrapbooking Every knife you need to create beautiful scrapbook pages packed in an attractive wooden box. Kit includes: Stencil Knife with 5 blades–Easily cuts heavy-duty materials such as cardstock, heavy bond paper, canvas, cloth, and more. Swivel Knife with 3 blades–Precision swivel blade turns 360 degrees for accurate cutting when using stencil and templates. Perfect for freehand shape cutting Gripster Knife with 5 blades–For precision cutting and trimming of photos, construction paper, and more. Ergonomic comfort-grip handle. Package includes three sample border patterns you can copy and enlarge. Made in the USA.

Encore Scrapbook Boutique Desktop Printing Image Collection/Management – Complete Product – Standard – Retail – PC $27.04 SCRAPBOOK BOUTIQUE DESKTOP PRINTING

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, the First Dutch War $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, the First Dutch War – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Prayers Before Battle $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Prayers Before Battle – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Tavern of the Two Seas $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Tavern of the Two Seas – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Captain James Cook $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Captain James Cook – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Victory at Vigo Bay $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Victory at Vigo Bay – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, the Capture of New York $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, the Capture of New York – Giclee Print

Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Two Famous Seamen $49.99 Eric Parker Scrapbook of the British Sailor, Two Famous Seamen – Giclee Print

Prince William and Kate Middleton, The Royal Wedding Scrapbook $14.99 Prince William and Kate Middleton, The Royal Wedding Scrapbook – Premium Poster

Page from a Scrapbook Containing 43 Sketches $49.99 Joseph Crawhall Page from a Scrapbook Containing 43 Sketches – Giclee Print

The Jim Morrison Scrapbook $29 Jim Morrison, with his explosive personality, mesmerizing lyrics, and unpredictable stage persona, epitomizes the quintessential rock star. Created in association with the Morrison estate, The Jim Morrison Scrapbook delves into his tumultuous life and legendary work with fascinating new details and a unique, interactive format. Removable facsimile memorabilia, including handwritten lyrics, poems, letters, never-seen photographs, and a 60-minute audio CD of interviews and unreleased spoken-word poetry, will offer a fresh look at the famous legend.

N02011762 Digital Scrapbook PC $30.02 Greenstreet Digital Scrapbook the fun and exciting way to create scrapbooks using your PC or laptop. It s your story done your way with a bit of help from Greenstreet. For centuries we have been creating priceless keepsakes preserving the past and ensuring those moments of today are not forgotten well now we give you the chance do it using modern technology. Your scrapbooks can include digital photos clipart text supertext digiart calendar diary even movie and sound captions to ensure you get the very best detail There are no boundaries speech bubbles frames borders rotation fades shadows and of course full editing undo redo preview and print functionality. With the simple and refreshing user interface you can navigate through the program with ease get your design off the ground with or without help it really is your shout. With many features to help you get the look and feel you want you don t need to be an expert as we ll help you all the way. Greenstreet have developed the programme to ensure you get a complete digital scrapbook with almost unlimited possibilities You can even create a video CD and watch through on your TV. So for the future in scrapbook creation you need look no further Pack away the old scissors cellotape and glue you have no excuse not to get the perfect scrapbook with no mess no fuss and without taking up the whole house You have to admit this is the futureandand a fadeproof record of your story for yourself and the added value of knowing you can add/remove at will create a fantastic gift for family and friends. Platform: PC. Publisher: Big Island Publishing. Genre: Software. Rating: Everyone. Languages English. Region Compatibility: NTSC U/S (United States/U.S. territories Canada or Bermuda systems) NTSC J (Japanese Asian or Korean systems) PAL (European or Australian systems).

Rustico PH007 Small Scrapbook Binder $104.77 The Small Leather Scrapbook Binder is more then just a scrapbook. It is a great way to organize and display your photos. With an easy to use a screw post binding you can add endless pages along the way. The Small Scrapbook is designed for those with an appreciation for unique quality. Add your personal touch to the Scrapbook Binder album by selecting the leather used in construction from the drop down menu above. You also have the option to personalize your Small Scrapbook Binder with your name a special date or inscribe it as a personalized gift for a friend Personalizations are laser engraved on the bottom right corner of the cover using Garamond Font. Material: Leather. Color: Black buckskin burgundy dark brown saddle. Size: 8 x 8 .

Rustico PH009 Large Scrapbook Binder $121.97 The Large Leather Scrapbook Binder is more then just a scrapbook. It is a great way to organize and display your photos. With all the time and detail but into creating a good scrapbook or photo album you want only the finest quality album. Rustico s leather photo albums are built with the finest leather equipped to last for generations to come The Large Leather Scrapbook Binder gives you an easy to use a screw post binding allowing you can add endless pages along the way. The Large Leather Scrapbook Binder is designed for those with an appreciation for unique quality. Add your personal touch to the leather Scrapbook Binder album by selecting the color used in construction from the drop down menu above. You also have the option to personalize your Large Leather Scrapbook Binder with your name a special date or inscribe it as a personalized gift for a friend Personalizations are laser engraved on the bottom right corner of the cover using Garamond Font. Material: Leather. Color: Black buckskin burgundy dark brown saddle. Size: 12 x 12 .

2011 Snödroppe $349 2011 Snödroppe

2011 Snedråbe $249 2011 Snedråbe